- Tahnee Ashworth
- Bay City Fisters
[Originally published 19 Nov 2018]
The final rookie profile for the 2018 Asia-Pacific Fistball Championships just so happens to be a secret Possums weapon that FiFA have been quietly brewing and harnessing in a laboratory, unbeknownst to even Tahnee Ashworth herself!
While it may have looked like just your average beach volleyball court to the referee, her opponents, casual passers-by and even the volleyball organisation that oversees the games… in reality it was all a fistball experiment, one overseen for her entire beach volleyball career by the shifty research team of FiFA to create a weapon of mass fistball destruction, one that could be unleashed on the unsuspecting Kiwis at the push of a really huge button (bigger than even Trump’s). We have now pushed that button.
FiFA can only hope that one day she does not turn against her makers once she finds out the truth. Thankfully, one of Tahnee’s most notable assets is her cheerful demeanour and overall like-ability, earning her the nickname of “The Smiling Assassin”.
An avid beach volleyballer and netballer, Tahnee uses her hitting mechanics and quick feet to place the ball with force into the tightest of gaps, a skill that will make her very handy for the Possums. She has the flexibilty to stretch the defence while maintaining a certain balance, engaging the core of her team to avoid any downward (dog) momentum. She also enjoys yoga.
While she technically works professionally in the “digital space” for Target, Tahnee (pronounced “Tah-nay”) spends the majority of her working hours trying to discover the way to punch a fistball into outer space, using the signature Target logo signage as perfect practice. Whoever scored the light & signage maintenance contract with Target in Victoria is surely counting their lucky stars, as Tahnee is probably putting their kids through private school.
Name: Tahnee Ashworth
Nickname: The Smiling Assassin
Club Team: Bay City Fisters
Jersey #: 18
Fist #: 15
Dominant Hand: Right
Birthplace: VIC, Australia
Birth Year: 1988