- Rod Matthews
- Fist Club
[Originally published: 28 Jan 2017]
Up until this point, Rod “Inanimate Carbon” Matthews has had just two claims to fame – the time he won “Worker of the Week” for his tireless efforts in his role at the local nuclear power plant, and the time he prevented the destruction of the Corvair space shuttle thanks to his quick thinking prior to its re-entry into Earth’s atmosphere. In the latter claim, legend has it that he managed the seal the shuttle’s faulty door closed using just his sizable unmalleable fist, saving the lives of his fellow astronauts. Despite these impressive life moments, surely representing Australia in the glorious of fistball will top them all.
After capping off a remarkable first season in the Victorian Fistball League by claiming the 2016 VFL Rookie of the Year award, Rod will become the second Fist Club member to don the green and gold, joining his captain Bryce Griesheimer, and surely putting the icing on the cake for the 2016 Roger Willen Shield-winning club.
Despite already having two clear nicknames – the aforementioned “Inanimate Carbon” and the lesser used “Rocket” – he is often heard referring to himself in the third person as “Pipes”, frequently asking passers-by if they would like two tickets for admission to what he calls the “Gun Show”. Other teammates have claimed to have seen him smashing a tin of spinach prior to training, but this could be unrelated. Regardless, one thing is for sure – when Rod winds up to defend the ball from deep in the back court, his fist is going to send the ball deep in the opposition’s back court, and the Hubble Space Telescope will probably come crashing down shortly after.
A school teacher by day and a slam poet by night, Inanimate Carbon brings his insightful teachings and transcendent wit to the defensive unit, always keeping his compatriots amused, yet focused on the task at hand. Despite the fact that he will be making his debut for the mighty Fisting Wombats in this incredibly important tournament against the excitable Kiwis, it’s undeniable to say that in Rod – we trust.
Name: Rod Matthews
Nickname: Inanimate Carbon/Rocket
Club Team: Fist Club
Jersey #: 3
Fist #: 17
Dominant Hand: Both (Ambifistrous)
Birthplace: Colac, VIC
Birth Year: 1983
Sporting Hero: John Daly
Favourite Non-Fistball Sports Team: Melbourne City’s FC
Best “Fire Up” Song Before Hitting The Fistball Field: “Ring a Ring o’ Rosie” by Traditional