6 Jason Hughes

Jason Hughes
The Mutts FC

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[Originally published: 18 Jan 2018]

Following on from yesterdays’ one half of a sibling duo, we now present another half of a sibling duo, albeit a different one from a different squad – captain of the Mutt Fisters, Jason Hughes.

After a short (yet spectacular) rally from the 2016 European Fistball Championships went viral all over the interwebs, a curious message arrived in the inbox of the FiFA Facebook page – it was from a young man named Jason Hughes, one who claimed to already have a team primed and ready to take on the glorious sport of fistball. Always eager to grow the player base domestically, FiFA encouraged said team to make an appearance at the next Fistivus – and so the Mutt Fisters were born.

Instantly the Mutt Fisters stood out like a sore forearm from the rest of the established competition. Firstly, they were young and athletic – two words that have rarely been used to describe the standard crop of Aussie fistballers. Secondly, they could really hit the ball, hard. Having all played together at a high level in a sport we prefer not to mention here (ugh, volleyball), they could not only hit the ball, but also jump very high to do so. Thirdly, as well as bringing the gun show to each Fistivus (volleyballers are clearly allergic to sleeves), they also brought a new kind of team camaraderie to the tournament – one in which they berated and mocked each other in the harshest of terms possible for every little mistake made. Volleyballers sure are a strange, fascinating bunch.

Assuming the reluctant role of leader to this ragtag bunch of volleyballers-turned-fistballers, Jason quickly established himself as a standout attacker of the ball, utilising power on his serves not previously seen at a Fistivus to not only just rocket the ball to the baseline, but with added curve, spin or dip. While FiFA have never personally witnessed Jason playing his former sport, we can only assume he had a tendency to hit the ball 16 metres further than he needed to. Finally, he has found the sport he was born to play, if not purely because we don’t have a thorough drug-testing facility set up just yet.

After his first full season in the VFL, Jason has decided that he is ready to not only compete for the title of Trans-Tasman Champion against the Kiwis, but also to claim the title of “Hairiest Fister” with Eric “The Dog” Maddocks currently out of the side, and the title of “Most Sharp-Dressed Wombat” against whichever Wombat previously held that title. He is also apparently looking forward to his unofficial role as Trans-Tasman chaperone/wrangler for his younger brother, Ben.

Regardless of these many glamorous titles, like those German doctors did with Kobe’s knee; Jason will inject some fresh blood into the Fisting Wombats to give them a new look on the court, one that FiFA hopes will cause all sorts of troubles for the Kiwis and ensure the trophy stays in this fine country.

Name: Jason Hughes
Nickname: Hairy Fist
Club Team: Mutt Fisters
Jersey #: 6
Fist #: 18
Position: Attacker
Dominant Hand: Right
Birth Year: 1989